My mom died from pancreatic cancer 3 weeks ago. She smoked for 20 years. The #1 risk factor from pancreatic cancer is smoking. She didn’t know she had cancer until only 7 weeks before. And about 4 of those weeks she could couldn’t do anythign but sleep… last 2 weeks she was out of it.. we barely got to speak to her. Her final week she was basically in a deep sleep…I didn’t dare to wake her becuase of the pain she was in. So yea we found out she had cancer .. she basically had a week to live.. We got to go to the beach one final time…. in between hospital stays. We could only stay for 1 hour before she needed to go home becuase we didn’t have pain medicaiton on us.

Just accepting that she was dying was hard enough for all us especially for her.. so the discussions? about it? Never happened.. not enough time. We said goodbye but … it still feels like it was unfinished… We didn’t get to talk about any affairs.. she kept telling me “later.” There was no later.

Pancreatic cancer is a slow but incredibly silent killer. You dont know you have it until its too late.

I read recently that Tobacco is dangerous because it is RADIOACTIVE. I’m not sure if its absolutley true but makes some sense to me why it took not only her but my step father as well (just 10 months ago). He was a 2 pack a day smoker for more than 20 years.

He died when one of his lungs decided to just quit and come out of his mouth. It was not a pretty sight at all. He couldn’t breath, talk, cough.. nothing.. he had no fucking oxygen.

So think of these things before you smoke. Both of them were warned. Both thought thye were immune to smoking problems… both hated those commercials that came on tv. .. both died horribly switfly and way too soon.

I miss my mother TERRIBLY. My heart is broken forever. Mom I am with you and you are with me always.

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